While everyone else tried very hard to be politically correct and say the right things and spare people’s feelings – at 72, Carl realized that about the only good thing about getting old was that you don’t need to give a flying f… about anyone or anything.

So, whenever possible (which was always) – he always spoke his truth.

He was husband to auntie, great-uncle to Ella and he was the Say-It-Like-it-Is-Uncle to Emma.

And when he speaks, everyone listens.

By The Messy Optimist

Happy Ever After

Well…it was one more day. And it was one more argument with my uncle that I inevitably lost (or as I told my kid cousin Ella that I ‘allowed’ uncle to win – he was old and everything – to which my darling Ella agreed). Well, she valiantly pretended to anyway. I couldn’t get it. I couldn’t understand how he has been married – HAPPILY MARRIED – to my aunt, who is no wallflower, BTW. I asked him.

Me: Uncle…you’re such a pain in the ass. You ALWAYS have to be right. You always have to have the last word. You’re so f…ing opinionated. How on earth has auntie tolerated you for close to four decades?

Uncle: (giving me a pointed how-dumb-are-you look) I have opinions because your aunt lets me have them. I have never forgotten that. And neither should any husband.

Me: So, auntie is cool about you speaking your mind?

Uncle: Of course she is. I’m very lucky that way. As long as I stick to the topics that she has approved of and then speak when she lets me, I’m allowed to have all kinds of opinions.

Marriage Equality

Uncle can be mean and always HAS to win every argument (at least with me) and always sneak in the last word but uncle was also all about rights and equality and equity for all. He was more of a feminist than a lot of women I know. So, yeah…uncle was basically an awesome human.

That day – we were discussing marriages since yet another family member asked me pointedly as to when I was ‘planning to get married’ and did I envision ‘dying an old maid’? After pulling uncle from physically harming said family member (even as I was deeply verklempt on the inside at uncle’s love for me)…our conversation proceeded to gay rights, especially their right to get married.

Me (very angrily): Even though there are many countries that’ve legalized gay marriages and kudos to them all – there are still many that won’t even hear of it. Circa 2021 – it still continues to be a hot-button topic in so many parts of the world and this issue is still blowing in different parts of the world. It’s heinous. Like…it’s 2021. Get over yourself, people. In a world where the pandemic has shown us how fragile life can be – there are still morons who are against gay rights and their right to get married.

Uncle (looking proud at my passionate stance even as he shook his head seriously): It’s so unfair. We don’t choose who we love. We just do. Everyone should have the right to marry. Seriously. Everyone.

Uncle turned and looked at Auntie fondly.

Oh, did I forget to mention that my dearest auntie was with us when said conversation was happening? Well, she was.

Auntie: Absolutely. Everyone SHOULD have the right to marry and experience what it means to be tied to one single person your entire life. One. Single. Person. Your. Entire. Life. Seriously, why should heterosexuals be the only ones to suffer?